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Signs that you maybe a computer nerd

10. You see a bumper sticker that says “Users are Losers” and you have no idea it is referring to drugs. 9. Your sleep schedule is similar to that of the great horned owl. 8. You make more than all of the MBAs you know who actually finished college. 7. ...

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Life before computers

An application was for employment. A program was a TV show. A cursor used profanity. A keyboard was a piano. Memory was something that you lost with age. A CD was a bank account. And if you had a 3 1/2 floppy You hoped no one found out! Compress was ...

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The programmer and the frog

A computer programmer happens across a frog in the road. The frog pipes up, “I’m really a beautiful princess and if you kiss me, I’ll stay with you for a week”. The programmer shrugs his shoulders and puts the frog in his pocket. A few minutes later, the frog says ...

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Programmers in the bedroom

Three married women were sitting around talking, and the subject of making love came up. The first woman said, ‘Well, I’m married to a psychologist, so whenever we make love, he always brings me home flowers and chocolates first, and it just puts me right in the mood, and we ...

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A programmers 3 wishes

A programmer was walking along the beach when he found a lamp. Upon rubbing the lamp a genie appeared who stated ‘I am the most powerful genie in the universe. I can grant you any wish you want, but only one wish.’ The programmer pulled out a map of the ...

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Is Windows really a virus?

Here’s what viruses do: They replicate quickly – okay, Windows does that. Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so – okay, Windows does that. Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk – okay, Windows does that too. Viruses are usually ...

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lecture on alcohol abuse

Drunk man is stopped by the Police around 1am and is asked where he is going at this time of night. The man replies, “I am going to attend a lecture on alcohol abuse & ill effects on my health.” Officer: Really? Sounds interesting, Who is giving that lecture at ...

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Time to go home

A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then he asks the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that one, he again peeks inside his shirt ...

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Too drunk

An obnoxious drunk stumbles into the front door of a bar and orders a drink, the bartender says, ‘No way buddy you’re too drunk.’ A few minutes later the drunk comes in through the bathrooms, again he slurs ‘give me a drink’, bartender says ‘No man I told you last ...

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Two bloods and a blood light?

It was Halloween and three vampires went into a saloon and bellied up to the bar. ‘What will you have?’ the bartender asked. ‘I’ll have a glass of blood,’ the first replied. ‘I’ll have a glass of blood, too, please,’ said the second. ‘I’ll have a glass of plasma,’ said ...

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