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Animal Jokes

We love our pets, we love animals so what better than a couple of animal jokes to make us smile.

Dog in a bar

A guy walks into a bar and sees a dog lying in the corner licking his butt. He turns to the bartender and says, “Boy, I wish I could do that.” The Bartender replies, “If you give him a bone maybe he will let you!”

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Is that a baby?

A woman and her baby get on to a city bus. After looking at both of them the bus driver says: “WOW! That must be the ugliest baby I have seen in my life!” The woman storms back to the rear of the bus so angry she can’t even see ...

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The useful millipede

A man buys a millipede from a pet store. The Pet shop tells him not to send the millipede outside for any work. The man asks it to clean the floor, finishes it very fast. Next the man asks it to wash the dishes , it finishes it in no ...

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Round up the possee

A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He hobbles up to the bar, looks around, and says, “Does anyone wanna join my posse?” The bartender asks, “Who ya after?” Dog says,”I’m lookin’ for the man who shot my paw.”

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Got any corn?

A duck walks into a bar jumps up on a bar stool and ask the bartender “hey bartender you got any corn?” The bartender says “no we don’t have any corn!” A few minutes later the duck asks again “hey bartender you got any corn”? the bartender says “no we ...

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