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Bar Jokes

We’ve all been there at the bar – Had one too many drinks and then what……..

lecture on alcohol abuse

Drunk man is stopped by the Police around 1am and is asked where he is going at this time of night. The man replies, “I am going to attend a lecture on alcohol abuse & ill effects on my health.” Officer: Really? Sounds interesting, Who is giving that lecture at ...

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Time to go home

A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then he asks the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that one, he again peeks inside his shirt ...

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Too drunk

An obnoxious drunk stumbles into the front door of a bar and orders a drink, the bartender says, ‘No way buddy you’re too drunk.’ A few minutes later the drunk comes in through the bathrooms, again he slurs ‘give me a drink’, bartender says ‘No man I told you last ...

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Two bloods and a blood light?

It was Halloween and three vampires went into a saloon and bellied up to the bar. ‘What will you have?’ the bartender asked. ‘I’ll have a glass of blood,’ the first replied. ‘I’ll have a glass of blood, too, please,’ said the second. ‘I’ll have a glass of plasma,’ said ...

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The crocodile and the chicken

This guy walks into a bar, carrying a crocodile and a chicken. He sets them down on the stool next to him, and says to the bartender ‘I’ll have a Scotch and Soda.’ Then the crocodile says ‘And I’ll have a Whiskey Sour.’ The bartender gasps ‘That’s incredible; I’ve never ...

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Amazing windy story!

Two men are drinking in a bar at the top of the Empire State Building. One turns to the other and says, ‘You know last week I discovered that if you jump from the top of this building by the time you fall to the 10th floor, the winds around ...

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